Chickadee, you know I ain't one for surprises. What's with that smile full of mischief when I know for a fact it ain't time for you to be on break yet? You wouldn't be smiling if Grammy cut your hours... Dag nab it, [i]please[/i] don't tell me you had to close the Commissary down early 'cause Grammy got locked in one of the storage units again! We still haven't financially recovered from that happening the [i]second[/i] time...

Naw, she's been real good 'bout making sure she's got a chair or something wedged in the doorway nowadays! And I'll have you know that Grammy Kitty let me mind the store all on my lonesome today, and I did a bang-up job! No, this is a GOOD surprise! You like those, don'tcha? You been saying how little you get good surprises since you became Sheriff! Hee, see? Lookit that big ol' smile growing on your face! C'mere, c'mere! Over to the window! My surprise is waiting for you just outside! TAH DAH!!! Meet my newest customers - a whole ding dang posse of long-lost miners! They came up from the flooded tunnel that Scraps and Bolts collapsed the other week! They're as friendly as a folk song, doing the right neighborly thing of returning some of Scraps' lost equipment. And they've been trading me a whole PILE of ammunition - isn't that great? I heard you telling Mama how worried you've been 'bout burning through all our reserves! Now I can help you restock! And, and! Lookit all the cute stuffy suits they put on their bots! I'm gonna get one for Drillbert once you're done settling them in with paperwork and all that hullaballoo!

… …... Well. Shucks. Thank you, Chickadee. You've done a very good job bringing these folks to me. Now. I need you to run along back to Grammy so she's not stuck stocking all them heavy cans by her lonesome - and no, "Romeo" and "Don Juan" don't count, they're just elderly-assistant equipment. I'll fill you in later, promise. Over supper. Now scoot. ... ...... Right. Now that she's out of earshot, which one of you's going to step forward and tell me who in tarnation you [i]really[/i] are? Ain't no way y'all are our 'long lost miners' or whatever slop you've poured over your sad story. I know every single person in town, and everyone they've lost. Sheriff's office has records. It also has [i]warnings[/i]. Go on. Shoot. I'll give y'all a slow count to ten so's you can explain before I start following Company procedure on trespassers.

[highlight=#fff2e6][color=Saddlebrown]Woah woah woah! Slow down there, Red! Ain't nobody here wanting to cause no trouble! These folks wanna do the exact opposite of that! They've all come to help with the Hooligan problem! They are, uh, expert exterminators! Those critters running around with them ain't Hooligans, they're specially trained partners called Kith! Good guys! I promise, cross my battery core and hope to never recharge again![/color][/highlight]

...I recognize that stitch work. You're the sorter unit Scraps lost in his driller experiment. [i]How can you talk?![/i]

[highlight=#fff2e6][color=Saddlebrown]Well, uh... y'see... these fine folks, uh, gave me an upgrade? Yeah! An upgrade! You've got them sheriff's records, ain'tcha? I'd bet my last chip that there's Company manuals referencing "talking equipment"! Y'all just never learned how to repair things the way your great-times-a-dozen-grandpappies used to, and so most bots lost that function over the years as times got tougher and parts had to be salvaged carefully, long before any Kith... Uh, I mean - nevermind all that! No sense yammering about equipment when we got way more dire straights to talk about! Scraps was right, these folks are from a whole 'nother town, far away from here. They may not be Company workers, but they've dealt with plenty of Hooligans before, and they know how to beat 'em back without slinging a single gun! See, they've learned that Hooligans can form up like roving gangs, with one head honcho at the fore riling 'em up into coordinated attacks. That might be why the problem's been getting so much worse down in the mines! This head honcho hit 'em hard and then headed for us - someone called Specter, I think it was?[/color][/highlight]

[size=10]All that ranting and raving Scraps was doing... Folks with long ears... purple skin... wings and fur... teeny tiny folks... Skies above, am I just dehydrated or did Scraps really see everything he said...? It was supposed to be Miasma Madness, but there ain't no way it could be venting all they way up here to affect me... If that part was true, then was everything else he said about a town true too...?[/size] Ugh. Ain't this just swell... Look, I wasn't born yesterday, so your whole story about being here to help holds about as much water as a rusty sieve with an extra bullet hole through the middle. But that don't mean you're lying about knowing a thing or two about Hooligans... We've not seen hide nor hair of anyone able to put those monsters down for good, nor order them around, and I will admit your... critters... do look a smidge different than the ones we've been corralling out of town. If some... "head honcho" out there really does have it out for us, I owe it to my people to hear you out. We've been finding brand-new caches already raided by Hooligans wherever we dig, and theft is something we really can't abide by in these parts. So. Y'all can come with me, keeping your hands where I can see 'em, or stay here in lockup while I sort this out with Scraps. He hasn't been hauled in for a misconduct review yet, being on sick leave 'til the Miasma Madness clears, so we can stop on by his place to hear it from him straight. After all, y'all wanted to return lost property, right? Might as well get [i]this one[/i] on home so the twins can cover their butts and be in a bit less trouble over materials lost.

[highlight=#fff2e6][color=Saddlebrown]Uh, yup, that's me, lost property! Happy to head home and... sigh... register my timestamps to get back to work... [/color][/highlight]

[highlight=#e5e7fc][color=mediumorchid]If you're going back to work, can someone find the lever to disengage this claw machine...? [size=10]Please?[/size] Maybe there's some knickknack in the [b][url=/npcs/161]Lost and Found[/url][/b] that can knock me loose? The Sheriff's new [u]Review, Restock, Reload Daily Quest[/u] on the [b][url=/events/30]Event Page[/url][/b] can help you aim - for the claw, not the bun! Complete it daily to get event points and a knickknack or two of your own from Scraps and Bolts' shops, where we're headed on [u]January 29th[/u].[/color][/highlight]

Well, corn my dog, I'd sooner lose a leg than cause any trouble. I ain't one to go angerin' the sheriff, leastwise not intentionally. [highlight=silver][color=purple]... Jokeheart, please don't ever talk like that again.[/color][/highlight] I practiced the whole way here, I ain't lettin' it go to waste. [highlight=silver][color=purple]Good grief...[/color][/highlight]