New Items: Instant Core Food
Posted on December 17, 2020Ahem. "Greetings to you, Core citizen. This is a prerecorded message from - a fellow citizen. Thank you for accessing this new vending machine trial program. By using this machine, you are qualified to receive these brand-new rations, which I have fully subsidized-"
Argh, no, completely obvious. Plus, it’s not like they’ll know how much these originally cost me to make, anyways. I'll need to edit that out when I’m removing all the extra background noise here... The Core warehouse shuttles are way too easy to recognize.
"Hey there! If you’re hearing this prerecorded message, you probably noticed this vending machine has a sunny assortment of brand-new, super cheap rations - some of the most popular dishes from the Crust, now repackaged into a portable form that you can carry with you anywhere in the Core!"
Yes, that's better...
"There's no need to sacrifice flavor and nutritional input for the sake of practicality anymore! Why not try a decadent mix of high protein content and energizing spicy sauce that you can savor whether you’re taking a well-earned break from coding, working on some repairs, or even cruising home on your hoverboard? Eat on the go with the characteristic Walking Classic Particle Taco, the delectable Walking Pretty Particle Taco, the scrumptious Walking Moon Chip Taco, or even the radiant Walking Sunny Strapple Taco!
And hey, why limit yourself to tacos? The classic Upper Crust dish of ramen can now be yours as well! It’s easy to eat even after you rehydrate it, thanks to our cleanly packaged new Instant Cosmic Ramen, Instant Juicy Ramen, and Instant Flaming Ramen.
Enjoy! Plus, if you like the snacks in this vending machine and wish they could be distributed more widely by the courierbots to anyone with a Core ID, perhaps alongside an even wider variety of fully-subsidized food options, why not fill out form 723A.8231 to suggest that the Commander and the Bridge Crew consider implementing and supporting an official version using the new resources acquired from the Earth Remnants?"
Stellar! Now I simply need to edit out that first bit - Splice together the final recording - add some quick vocal auto tuning... Heh, it's been a while since the DJ Kyp days.
Finished. Now for the hard part... trying to remember the override codes to upload all these recipes directly to the Botany Terrace shop so that these meals can be easily reproduced. Maybe I can circumvent the processors with -
"Hacked system alert"?! No, no, no, no!!
Ah - Cancel! Stop! Don't -
