Event Update: Commissary Canteen!
Posted on January 15, 2025--
Ahhh, home sweet home!
Now settle down y'all! I'm sure as sherry y'all're right excited to be here in Rock Bottom - who wouldn't be? But these here mining tunnels are Company property and needed to be treated as such. I expect y'might not be able to tell harmless dirt from explosive thaum at a glance like Rock Bottom folks would! So's I oughta set a few ground rules 'fore we go exploring further.
First things first, keep your paws to yourself! Ain't no reason to nick a souvenir from the raw ores when y'all don't have no safety gear but me so far. I'm just one robot! I can't protect all y'all at once!
Secondly, I oughta show y'all the universal gesture of surrender down here: arms up, hands empty, fingers splayed, nice and wide. Yeah, that's right! Trust me, nobody wants to run afoul of the peacekeepers - Shards may not be fatal to you folks, but it still smarts something fierce to get shot! They don't know you folks or your Kith, and I expect it'd be easy to assume they're Hooligans worth shooting first and questioning later. I still ain't quite sure how I'm gonna get y'all to the right place to fight the real Hooligans... but that's one hole we'll dig our way out of when we get there.
And most important: don't nobody split from the group and go wandering off willy-nilly! Each of these tunnels is a twisty mess worse than a youngster's first try at the lasso. It's easier than pie to get yourself lost down here, and then we might never see you alive again!
Speaking of lost, where did that ding dang darn boat drop us off...? Now, now, don't fret, just let me get my bearings as we walk a lil' further in and- OH! The Commissary? That can't be right, we didn't use the driller nowhere near such an important location... Did the tunnels move again...?
Welp! All's well that ends well, I suppose; I got a right chum working here, so's all we gotta worry about is who's running the front. If it's the little bit, we're golden, but if it's Grammy Kitty, y'best be ready to duck for cover or leg it when the Shards start blasting our way... Ready?
