You get.. W-wait a minute, is that a tiny Blepper? Get out of that vending machine!! The blepper spits out what seems to be 4 coins and runs away. Hey, at least you have x4 more coins than before!

//inserts coin

You get... a strange voice singing about the sea. It is beautiful, but tinged with sadness and loneliness... Did it just say something about selling food?

*inserts coin*

You get.. A picture! Looking at the photo closer you discover that its a photo of a person, but not just any person! This particular dapper fellow has a.. Fish head? Well.. Alright then..

//Inserts coin

you get... is.. is that a piece of the tatters? how did it get in a vending machine--and should you really be holding it with your bare hands?

-inserts coin-

You get a jar of pistachio shells. It's unclear why someone would go to the trouble of saving these, but maybe you can use the jar as a makeshift maraca?

*inserts coin*

a dark black ooze drools out of the machine. it smells like driftwood and fish and rot. steam rises out of it and it bubbles as if it's boiling, but the room is growing colder. it drips out of the coin slot and keypad into a puddle on the floor. you hear a tinny ringing noise, like an untuned radio in the distance...

you blink. the ooze is gone.

aaand there's a little plastic kitten!! awwwww

tosses that coin in

The vending machine rumbles and you take a step back from it. A moment passes till out pops a tiny gun about the size of your palm. You pick it up, examine it, and aim at the ground to test it but instead of a regular ol' bullet, an even tinier knife is released!

Wow, a gun that shoots knifes; now no one will complain about you bringing a gun to a knife fight!

//Inserts a coin

You hear the clinking of the coin as it falls into the ever-growing pile of coins inside the machine and the mechanisms in the machine start whirring. After a few seconds of anticipation, you lift the flap and see a tiny felt pig, the size of your thumbnail, the color of the sky when the sun is just starting to peek over the horizon.

Wait, did the pig just.. Oink at you?

Fishes around in pockets and inserts a coin

The little LED screen suddenly expands into a slot machine and starts spinning wildly, eventually landing on 777. You won! there's a rumbling from the change slot as everyone else's coins fly at you at top speed.You're soon buried in spare change. Assuming you can get out you'll have quite a bit of money!

-inserts coin-

You get a large, ancient black book. On the cover is an unnerving horned skull of an unknown beast, etched in gold. The words inside are written in undecipherable, harsh-looking runes, and there are several diagrams depicting what seem to be rather bizarre rituals.

Although you have no idea what knowledge the tome contains, just touching it makes your skin crawl and gives you the feeling that only evil can come from trying to unlock its mysteries. Perhaps it is best to turn it over to someone more knowledgeable in dealing with the occult...

*inserts coin*