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All Topics » Writing » Rubber Duck Wars

Rubber Duck Wars

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Rubber Duck Wars 8

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Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 02:49 PM

Last Edited: October 15, 2017 06:04 AM

Okay, so we're SUPER CLOSE to the end of General Quackington's campaign against the Dread Snapping Turtle

(Wishlist has the short-version updates and the currently sought-after stuff; Gallery showcases the recruits and the things donated to the cause. Fallen Duckies are removed from the gallery, but never forgotten!)


I thought it'd be fun to post it in writings because it's a story, bless it!

And that way when I decide to go well over the top and actually write little Rubber Ducky Eulogies and the Brave Battle Speeches and other such scenes, there will be a place to put it... (Anyone else who wants can jump in, too).

So, here we go! I'll try and separate things out a bit in posts so nothing is TOO big a wall of text. Hopefully.

Editing help welcome. ;)

Dramatis Personae:

the Child
the Child's siblings (unnumbered, unnamed. Known: at least two older brothers, at least two older sisters)
"Aunt Miranda"
"Aunt Jay"
(implied or named: the other Hope NPCs)

Allied Forces:
(various others to be added as they occur/are recorded; should allies wish to remain anonymous all such wishes will be honored as soon as received.)

The Foe:
the Dread Snapping Turtle

Props, Weapons, Background, and Other Miscellaneous:
Blanket Forts (for defense)
A Scalynx (Sergeant Yellow's Backstory)
Sir Sock Puppet (presumably a cinis sock puppet toy)
Glitter Cannon (weapon)
Cleaning Cloth (for the cannon)
Olive Oil (for the cannon)
A Spark (for the cannon)
A Moment (of silence)
Bubble Wand Set (weapons)
Dish Soap (ammunition)
Pillow (blanket fort repair)
Blanket (blanket fort repair)
Mechanics Science Kit (to build:)
Inflatable Pool (prison/trap)
Fishing Net (prison security)
Bug-Catching Net (turtle weapon)
Baby Egg (decoy/trap)
Avoreal Nest (trap setting)
Charybdis Pool (trap)
Sweet Seaweed (rations)
Sunflower Seeds (rations)
Oatmeal (rations)
Sand Castle (fortification)
Bubble Wand (weapon)
Psychology book (strategy aid)
Dino Plushie (decoy/trap)
Fluffy Puppy Plushie (decoy/trap)
Seeba Plush (decoy/trap)
Breadcrumb Trail (decoy/trap)

Rubber Duckies:
General Quackington
-Scout (RIP)
-Private PigPen (RIP)
-Tweedle Dee (aka Tweedle Duck)
-Tweedle Duck (RIP)
-Polly (aka Polly Want a Quacker)
-Sir Featherhead
-Sergeant Yellow
-Captain Arr (RIP)
-Indiana Duck (RIP)
-Dr. Ducky (RIP)
-Colonel Quacker
-Omelette (became Hamlet)
-Moby Duck
-Count Duckula
-Chuck (short for Charles Duckins)
-Duck Vader
-Clint Duckwood
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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 03:04 PM

The Dread Snapping Turtle encroaches upon us.

Some children fear monsters under the bed. Some fear monsters in their closet. But an unlucky few (a nightmare-laden few) have seen a huge and crusty shell, hardened with battle-scars. They have seen jaws of steel, capable of snapping children's fingers off in a single bite. They have seen the floating feathers left on a pond surface where once a duck swam peacefully along. And for them, it is no unnamed monster they fear. It is no easily-avoided area of their bedroom they fear.
It is BATHTIME they fear, and the name of their fear is the Dread Snapping Turtle.

But where there are terrible foes, there are brave heroes. Where childhood terrors lurk, childhood toys will champion youth. The age-old 'tubby-time' companion of rubber ducks have their own bone to pick with this ancient foe of water fowl. General Quackington is leading the campaign against him, coordinating efforts of army and navy both.

Our tale starts by following the stubby yellow tail of General Quackington as she waddles around a newly-erected Blanket Fort, inspecting the defenses.....

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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 03:13 PM

It was a lonely inspection; General Quackington was the sole surviving Tubby Time defender.

Oh, cleaning cloths came and went, and when the Child had been only an infant they'd doubled as teething rags, but that was all in the lost Before times.
Before the Child had seen the Dread Snapping Turtle.
Before the Child's imagination had grown and given life and animation to General Quackington.
Before the Baby Sitter, even! (Although that was a foe for another war. One campaign at a time, after all)

No, everything had changed, recently. Since the trip to see a pond had ended in terrified crying jags after the duck they'd been watching disappeared into the jaws of an enormous, unseen foe. Perhaps the educational lecture on snapping turtles which followed had been well meant. Invisible terrors were often worse than named, explicated ones, after all. But, sadly, seeing a snapping turtle had not lain those fears to rest. Instead, it had given them form.

Pitiful wails rang throughout the Toybox each evening as Tubby Time approached, and General Quackington earned her name soon thereafter, dubbed champion and Turtle Foe in attempt to give the Child allies and soothe the unexpected tantrum.

The first night, it didn't work at all.

The second night, the Child's older siblings took an interest, and suddenly the campaign took on life.
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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 04:03 PM

"Aunt Miranda" was a favorite with the Child -indeed, with the whole family. She was the one who created Story Time for everyone, after all, even if she was very particular about who was allowed to touch the treasured books.

Aunt Miranda was definitely in favor of cleanliness. No jam-sticky hands would ever be allowed the hallowed task of Turning the Page for this story-teller!

So when Tubby Time elicited fearful fits the second night in a row, the Child's older siblings borrowed a trick from Aunt Miranda, and proposed a bribe.

They would create one of the coveted Blanket Forts, just for the Child to sleep in that night, if the child would be brave and follow General Quackington into the Tubby Time waters. Normally Blanket Forts only ever appeared when Aunt Miranda did, and they were strictly to be shared. So this was a treat, indeed!

It worked, too, although it did not, in the end, become a solitary sleeping place after all. General Quackington must inspect the fort first, you see! Just to be sure.
So the Child's elder siblings solemnly (or cheerfully, depending) provided motive force for the brave General to inspect her defenses, while the Child narrated with increasing confidence and General Quackington began to wake to the crisis.

That night, several children slept soundly in a Blanket Fort, while General Quackington kept watch for the Dread Snapping Turtle.

Kept watch, and began to plan.
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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 04:27 PM

Of course the first thing to do would be to recruit more forces!
General Quackington immediately put up posters. There were more ducks among the family. If nothing else, they would be seen in the Toybox. Army, navy, it was all one to General Quackington.

The Dread Snapping Turtle would not be defeated by one alone.

The second thing to do was to create more safe havens. Besides, Blanket Forts made the best nests.

And while forces were gathered and defenses were constructed, General Quackington would search for a Clue.

Rubber ducks aren't commonly good tacticians, after all. A little help would be welcome.

Deep in the murky bottom layers of the swamp, the Dread Snapping Turtle also responded to that call of imagination, and began leisurely quartering the lake bed. Searching for a clue was not unique to ducks.
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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 05:07 PM

Slowly rubber duckies began to be discovered from all their hiding spaces.

Abandoned out in the lengthening grass of the lawn weeks ago, an explorer came in to report. General Duckington accepted the report, acceded to the Child's brother and gave this Rubber Ducky the rank of "Scout".

The fabled Lost Ducky under the oven needed a special tubby time all to himself before he was clean enough to join the Child in a tubby time; even then the dark smudges lingered. The Child's siblings sometimes called this one PigPen, and squabbled over its ownership, but then their oldest brother said it should be a Private because 'they get all the dirty jobs, and it's been doing dirty jobs so long we can't get all the dirt off no matter how hard we scrub'. This sally met with general acclaim, and General Quackington acclaim as well. What is an army without privates, after all?

Two rubber duckies who had been blamelessly nesting in the bottom corner of the Toybox were ruthlessly dragged in to the fight, as well. They were at first called Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Duck, but no one could tell them apart, and soon both answered to Tweedle Duck.

A second Blanket Fort was constructed, and the battle lines of the front began to become clear. (There was some fussing about this blanket fort at first; it was pointed out that anything built in the bathroom was: A) necessarily temporary and B) liable to get sopping wet. It was finally relocated to the bedroom)
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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 06:40 PM

Polly Want A Quacker (soon to be known simply as Polly) joined the navy after being discovered in a load of laundry one day. Oddly, that load smelt of cabbages, and so did Polly. It didn't seem to matter how often she was dunked in the Bubble Bath, she always smelt of cabbages. Soon enough everyone was relying on that to tell her apart. (The crumbs from attempts to feed her crackers were only ever temporary, and that joke was soon abandoned in favor of others)

FeatherHead was a direct recruit from sQld. Initially, he frequently threatened to desert and go back home if he wasn't given a more dignified name. In deference to this self-consequence he was promptly dubbed "Sir Featherhead" and when he wasn't helping patrol the Bathtub, he was often kidnapped to help play the Pretty Princesses game. Will he, nill he, silk handkerchiefs in varying colors were tied about him as a sign of favor and he was pitched into the jousting list against such foes as Sir Sock Puppet. Fighting for the honor of multiple princesses several times a day honed his martial prowess and he soon became an indispensable part of the evening Tub Patrol.
It was he who discovered that silk is easily stained even by such a simple thing as water, and that water makes fabric knots quite tight and hard to remove. Presently Sir Featherhead had been chosen a permanent champion of one of the Pretty Princesses, as her favor could no longer be taken from him. (Sir Featherhead was a well-beloved champion, because he never minded whether the Pretty Princess he fought for was usually a Pretty Prince, or if a Pretty Princess decided she was going to be a Wizard, now, instead, and accidentally hit him in the wing with her stick wand)
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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 06:40 PM

Sergeant Yellow was discovered with Scalyx chew-marks all over her. Her squawker didn't work right, and trying to squeeze her produced only a sad wheezing noise.
Furthermore, she SANK. Who'd ever heard of a Rubber Ducky that couldn't swim?!

But the Child soon discovered that a pencil could be poked into one of the tooth-holes and would stay put. Soon Sergeant Yellow bristled with armaments, a booby-trapped invitation to be swallowed: she'd stick in anyone's craw!

Indeed, she was such a deadly weapon in her own right that she was confiscated once or twice after the Child threw her at an upstart sibling who dared to declare that Sir Featherhead could take Sergeant Yellow in a fight. There was brief talk of a pillowfight duel to settle the matter, but "Aunt Jay would win against both of them" distracted everyone with speculations and the matter was mostly dropped.

After a while, Sergeant Yellow ended up being the banner-carrier, because ribbons or handkerchiefs could be woven around through the pencils sticking out all over her, and since she didn't float anyhow she was nearly always posted Lookout on the corner of the washstand, so having her up there waving the banner seemed like a good use of resources, although no one seemed entirely sure what their banner ought to be.
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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 07:29 PM

Smuggles and Captain Arr both started out looking like perfectly normal rubber duckies. But no rubber ducky can withstand the full force of a child's imagination, and that did not last long.

Smuggles was named first. "Because rubber ducks look smug and I shall have snuggles from my ducky" And Smuggles certainly received plenty of snuggles, and then shortly the tips of her wings were anointed with fingernail polish "so we match".

But it wasn't long before the name came to mean something else. "So is Smuggles actually a smuggler, or not?" came the demand. "What's a smuggler?" "Like a pirate! Except they sell stuff too instead of just take it."
Smuggles quickly lost an eye and gained a purple-nail-polish-eyepatch.

This engendered some jealousy as everyone else wanted a Rubber Ducky Pirate, too, and Captain Arr was quickly claimed and nearly as quickly given a sparkly green eyepatch. "He can be his own shoulder parrot, except he's a shoulder ducky!"

Captain Arr discovered that rubber duckies were not designed to be shoulder parrots, and fall off a lot.

A courtier sash from the Pretty Princess game was found and re-purposed, and Captain Arr shortly became the first Ducky Paratrooper.

He still fell a lot.
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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 08:55 PM

Shortly after Captain Arr became the first crash-test duckequin paratrooper (it's a good thing rubber bounces), A Clue was found!

It didn't seem to be found *by* anyone, either.

It just mysteriously appeared one day in the Toybox, as though it had never been anywhere else. General Quackington instantly got a clue, but was worried lest the Dread Snapping Turtle had also received this hint.

She resolved to act upon it at once! It pointed at a possible weapon. A rumor about a very powerful device disguised as a toy. Only recently introduced to the realm of Hope, it could thus far only be found in another remnant, or from merchants and travelers who had come to Hope after having visited this exotic locale.

Still, though the device was foreign, it originated in a remnant more water than land! Surely they, of any, would have experience fighting off such a water-based menace!

Truly, a Glitter Cannon was the best lead they had.

They would begin the search at once!

Scout headed up reconnaissance. Captain Arr jumped down into contested, perilous lands. Sergeant Yellow kept close Lookout. Sir Featherhead stepped up patrols to disguise the absence of the searchers.

They would find this weapon. They would!
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Re: Rubber Duck Wars

by Sefria » August 26, 2017 09:19 PM

Before they could find the Glitter Cannon, they stumbled across another Rubber Ducky. This intrepid explorer was found half-buried in Robin's compost heap, and as they were all desperately racing to find a powerful weapon before their foe could, the duck became Indiana Duck. Andre was eventually convinced to create a tiny cowboy hat, but they had to make do with a bit of string for a whip.

It was a good omen. As tales of the campaign spread, other allies were beginning to form, and sQld unearthed the Glitter Cannon.

But, now what? It had been truly unearthed (how had something from a land of so much water gotten so much mud on it?) and wasn't in any shape to be fired.

Private Pigpen got all the dirty jobs.
After a thorough inspection, it was announced that a cleaning cloth would be required, first.
Once the mud was removed, some olive oil or other oil must be procured to bring it back to operational level.

Then all that would be needed was a spark.
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