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bad whiny poetry
Tutorial Tutorialbad whiny poetry 1
panthercat's poetry thread inspired me (if you havent read it yet, you should) so here's some of my terrible writes. they never rhyme lol sorry
The Mother
Here lies the proof forces ancient,
Uncurled from man’s extended hand
It shivers and runs and deftly leaps,
Cascading softly through the curving land
A rolling trail of untamed restless life
Bursts impatient from shuddering waves
It cradles scales in peaceful thrashing
And bids the bending green behave
Man, in infancy, was rocked upon
River Rivanna, her softly sung lullaby
As loving a mother as she was wild,
She breathed out bounty with each sigh
Nurtured green against her blushing blue,
And offered wealth on her stretching smile
Her children have grown and moved apart
And though she endured each biting trial,
They carve cuts deep in the weeping veins
Of a mother who once held them dear;
Man has grown more steeped in greed
And may too late remember fear.
The Mother
Here lies the proof forces ancient,
Uncurled from man’s extended hand
It shivers and runs and deftly leaps,
Cascading softly through the curving land
A rolling trail of untamed restless life
Bursts impatient from shuddering waves
It cradles scales in peaceful thrashing
And bids the bending green behave
Man, in infancy, was rocked upon
River Rivanna, her softly sung lullaby
As loving a mother as she was wild,
She breathed out bounty with each sigh
Nurtured green against her blushing blue,
And offered wealth on her stretching smile
Her children have grown and moved apart
And though she endured each biting trial,
They carve cuts deep in the weeping veins
Of a mother who once held them dear;
Man has grown more steeped in greed
And may too late remember fear.
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Re: bad whiny poetry
by Faixella » October 30, 2016 08:24 PM
Interesting contrasts of emotive imagery through the beginning, middle and end. Makes me wonder if I should give mine a call?
Thanks for posting. :)
Thanks for posting. :)
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Re: bad whiny poetry
by - Z - » October 30, 2016 09:25 PM
ah thanks!!
its about our codependency w/ nature
its about our codependency w/ nature
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Re: bad whiny poetry
by Faixella » October 31, 2016 03:39 PM
I saw a bunch of metaphors here; that was only one. Accidental or not, I thought that was great. :)
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Re: bad whiny poetry
by Mad_Hatter » November 02, 2016 07:25 PM
Its not terrible ur such a good writer keep up the good work ^-^
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Re: bad whiny poetry
by - Z - » November 02, 2016 11:09 PM
thank you!! this is another one
GENESIS,
a beginning.
As a child I imagined
The angels as brick-layers,
Later promoted to a divine bureaucracy
No living eyes would get to see.
As I grew older, I thought of them
More like worker bees
With eyes that don’t observe
(Though they have the ability)
But with hands that never stop moving.
Now, I begin to understand, that
Their direction, under gentle order,
Was more akin to a willing kaleidoscope
Brilliant colors and shapes
A union of brilliant direction
With a leadership that spun wildly
Higher and higher up the ladder,
And the angels, they sweat rivers
And oceans and diamonds
Over a world that they create,
Pressing down at the valleys,
Sculpting the grandest mountaintops
And the most delicate roots.
I dream of their love and precision
For despite the spectrum of our flaws,
The one sure thing we know about angels
Is that one day, if we are deserving,
We may become them.
GENESIS,
a beginning.
As a child I imagined
The angels as brick-layers,
Later promoted to a divine bureaucracy
No living eyes would get to see.
As I grew older, I thought of them
More like worker bees
With eyes that don’t observe
(Though they have the ability)
But with hands that never stop moving.
Now, I begin to understand, that
Their direction, under gentle order,
Was more akin to a willing kaleidoscope
Brilliant colors and shapes
A union of brilliant direction
With a leadership that spun wildly
Higher and higher up the ladder,
And the angels, they sweat rivers
And oceans and diamonds
Over a world that they create,
Pressing down at the valleys,
Sculpting the grandest mountaintops
And the most delicate roots.
I dream of their love and precision
For despite the spectrum of our flaws,
The one sure thing we know about angels
Is that one day, if we are deserving,
We may become them.
